Everyman's Journal

Battlesphere

2009-01-13T10:49:00.000-08:00

A truly innovative game, Battlesphere is a "shooter" with a twist: you're riding in a futuristic vehicle composed of a frame surrounding an inflatable ball. The rotation of the ball powers the craft forward. As the pilot, you're inside the ball. You roam around the arena picking up weapons and firing them at opponents to burst their ball. The last man left un-popped wins.

The physics of the vehicle as you roam the landscape are great; it's almost as much fun to just drive around as it is to battle your opponents. Later vehicles have much better handling characteristics.

Give it a try!

Battlesphere

Wipe out all your opponents before your Sphere is destroyed!

Play this free game now!!

Flight late or canceled? You need to know rule 240

2008-01-30T10:52:00.001-08:00

There's a little-known rule in the airline industry that requires airlines to fly you on another carrier in the event that their flight is canceled. If you travel, here's what you need to know.

Rule 240, at MSNBC

New online game: Fancy Pants 2

2008-01-19T13:09:00.000-08:00

Fancy Pants 1 is a fantastic free online flash game; it's a creative adventure side-scroller with great physics and environments.

A demo of Fancy Pants 2 was released some time ago (a year or two perhaps?), which showcased some remarkable improvements....and then, nothing. Silence. Fans of the demo waited so long for the full version, we forgot what we were waiting for!

Today, the developer Brad Borne has released Fancy Pants 2! Give it a try, it's fun for all ages.

http://games.mochiads.com/c/g/fpa-world-2/FPAWorld2.swf

Controls:

Left and right to move
Up to open doors
Down while running to slide or roll
S to jump
To kill the baddies, jump on them or slide into them. If you land on them still pressing S, you'll permanently get them off the level. Without, you'll just stun them
If you jump onto a wall, and jump again, you will jump off it and (if there's another wall nearby) onto that one. You can scale closely-spaced parallel walls that way
The snail and golf holes are explained in-game

The Tortilla Post, Part 2

2007-12-30T10:08:00.000-08:00

If you recall from my earlier post on making tortillas, I commented that while I had made flour tortillas, I had not yet made corn tortillas. These are most easily formed with a tortilla press, though certainly some Mexican moms form these quickly and easily just with their fingers. Not being a Mexican mom, and lacking the motivation to develop this skill, I dreamed idly if owning a tortilla press someday, musing in the earlier post that maybe Santa would bring me one.

Apparently, Santa reads this blog. Look what I found under the tree on Christmas morning!

If there's anything you want for Christmas, be sure to leave it in the comments before Santa reads it again next year!

The silver thing with the handle is a tortilla press. It's made of cast-iron; the silver color is from a rough anti-rusting coating. The simple machine is made of two discs of iron hinged at the bottom, and a handle that presses them together, squashing the masa harina (dough made from water and corn flour) into a perfect little tortilla.

The circular pan on the right is a comal, which is a cast-iron pan with no sides, and used specifically for making tortillas. It's not necessary - you can use an ordinary cast-iron or other skillet - but it's fun to have an "authentic" piece of cookware for the job.

They're both about 7" wide, perfect for cranking out small corn tortillas.

As luck would have it, my wife had some beef, peppers, and onions on-hand for me to make fajitas. What's more, she even bought some corn flour just days before on a grocery shopping trip. What a happy coincidence!

My head tortilla chef (7 y/o son) has been having as much fun as I have with these.

In addition to fajitas, I also made up a recipe for "Breakfast Tacos". There is nothing remotely authentic about this recipe. It probably doesn't even qualify as Americanized Tex-Mex. Anyway, the kids like it. To make your own:

Breakfast Tacos

Ingredients for tortillas:
2 c. masa harina flour
1c. water

Ingredients for filling:
6 eggs, scrambled with milk
1/2 t. chili powder
1/2 onion, diced
1/2 green pepper, diced
4 slices bacon, diced
grated cheese
sour cream
salsa
wedge of lime

To prepare:
Mix masa harina and set aside
Fry bacon in cast-iron skillet.
Just before it's done, add the onion and pepper.

As they finish together, scoop them to one side in the pan, and sprinkle in chili powder to taste into the hot oil. You're essentially cooking the spices, which softens them up so they're not gritty, and releases the flavor into the oil. The oil, in turn, then distributes the flavor throughout the food. Oil is a wonderful carrier of spices. That's one of the reasons spicy oily foods taste good - the flavors are carried in the oil, which then coats your tongue.

After 20-30 seconds, add the eggs, and stir until you get scrambled eggs.

Hopefully, you've been making tortillas as you've been cooking the eggs, because it's time to eat!

Making corn tortillas with a press is very easy compared to rolling flour tortillas. Lay a piece of wax paper or plastic on the bottom plate, put a small ball of masa harina on the wax paper, and lay a second piece on top. Use the press to flatten the dough. Open the press, peel off the top layer of wax paper, and flop the tortilla onto your hand. Carefully peel off the other layer of wax paper, and lay the tortilla onto the hot comal or skillet. Cook for about 30 seconds on side A, side B, then side A again, and stack them onto a plate. They should begin to puff during cooking, which is the steam cooking the insides.

Some tips:
You want to avoid overcooking, which will leave them too stiff to fold. It's also important that the masa harina be a stiff dough, the consistency of a stiff cookie dough, otherwise you won't be able to get it off the wax paper.

To serve:
Scoop a spoonful of egg mixture into a line down the center of your tortilla, and top with your favorite taco condiments. The boys like theirs smothered in cheese and sour cream. In fact, I think they think that tortillas are just a medium for eating cheese and sour cream.
Heather likes hers with the same, plus some salsa.
My choice was to top the eggs with a little cheese, and using a wedge of fresh lime, sprinkle lightly with lime juice. It cuts through the oils and creates makes a fresh, light, almost tropical flavor.

Fold, and enjoy!

Grilling The Perfect Steak

2007-12-21T13:50:00.000-08:00

Every weekend, dads across the country pull out their favorite grill and utensils, and cook up something delicious for the family. It’s a fun ritual that is an ingrained and iconic part of American fatherhood. I use my gas grill right through the winter – it’s not just a fair-weather sport! The charcoal one gets stored, though, I’m not that crazy.

Yes, I did say “dads” and not “parents.” For some reason, the grill is the domain of the dad. Standing in front of a grill, with a beer in one hand and a pair of tongs in the other is the recipe for happiness for many of us. And why wouldn’t it be? We have the essentials: beer, fire, meat, tools, and we’re providing for our family. This is an activity that stimulates the cro-magnon part of our brain that wasn’t lost to evolution. As a result, we take great pride in our grill-skills.

For the same reason, grilling can be somewhat mysterious, as if the guys who do it really well have some kind of black-magic voodoo to make it come out so good. Here, I’m going to share my technique for grilling the perfect steak. This technique works only for better cuts of boneless steak such as New York strip, Delmonico/rib-eye (again, no rib), or filet mignon. Larger cuts (like top round) and those with the bone in (such as a porterhouse) will require different grilling methods.

First, you need to start with a decent cut of meat. I usually buy NY strips as a whole loin, and have it cleaned and cut to approximately 1.25” thick steaks. While expensive up front, this is more economical by the pound. It usually works out to about $5-$6 a pound, while supermarket steaks are much more ($8-$10 and up). The store-bought ones are usually cut too thin, anyway. For the ones you won’t be cooking, wrap tightly in plastic wrap, and then place in a freezer bag, and then of course, freeze. You don’t want to damage your treasures! An additional advantage is that you’ve got nearly identical pieces of meat allowing you to experiment with different grilling times without having to account for differences due to the meat between experiments

Seasoning

This is a debate that will never be definitively solved; it’s probably been raging since the first cave-man spread some herbs on his meat prior to cooking, and his dinner companion complained about the flavor.

To season or not to season, that is the question…aye, there’s the rub (Ha! Get it? Rub? I crack myself up).

Within the “to season” camp, you have debates between marinades and a dry rub (dry seasoning mix).

I’ve tried them all, and my perennial favorite for steaks is simply dunking them in a melted butter and olive-oil mixture (just enough oil to keep the butter a liquid longer) or spreading on butter, then sprinkling liberally with coarse salt and fresh coarsely-cracked black pepper and pressing it into the meat with my fingertips. Don’t bother using table salt, use the coarse kosher stuff. You don’t want the salt dissolving – it’s supposed to form a nice crust with the peppercorns. Plus, the small grains and strong flavor of ordinary table salt could overpower the meat. The pepper cannot be overdone. Once cooked, you’ll get a much milder flavor, not spicy.

Yes, I’m advocating adding salt and butter to cholesterol-laden meat. Look, this isn’t a daily meal, it’s a special treat! Don’t back out now. And no, margarine is not a good substitute.

If you prefer dry rubs, you can buy prepared mixtures, or make one of salt and pepper, a touch of cayenne, thyme, ground rosemary, garlic, and mild paprika (lots of it). For a marinade, try a teaspoon or so each of minced garlic and fresh minced ginger, in soy or teriyaki sauce. This needs no more than a couple hours to impart its flavors. This will yield a savory, Asian-inspired flavor. If you’re marinating to try and tenderize the meat, I’ll write another post on marinades in the future. However, the grade of meat you’re grilling for this recipe shouldn’t require tenderizing.

Some people also like to cut small slits at the edges of their steak to prevent curling during the cooking process, though I usually do not.

Cooking

Let’s talk about grilling in general: cooking the meat over high, direct heat. The idea, of course, is to sear the outside and form a crust or coating on the meat . This is done not to “seal” the meat as some people think, but for flavor. Everyone knows that the outside coating of grilled meat is the most flavorful. This is due to the “Maillard Reaction” which is what happens when the proteins and sugars are heated up. The combination “browns” and creates the flavor we are accustomed to in grilled, sautéed, or roasted meat. This is why meat is often browned before braising; otherwise, you just wind up with gray, boiled meat. Yummy.

This reaction, combined with the smoky flavors from the drippings sizzling in the fire, the direct flame scorching the meat, and the grill marks, yield a taste that is just incomparable to that given by any other method.

There is a drawback with this method: the heat itself. The high-quality meat you just paid good money for gets its tenderness from the “marbling” or streaks of fat throughout the meat, and a low collagen content (tougher fibers found in other cuts from parts of the animal that are more heavily exercised). The fat will essentially lubricate the fibers of the meat, making it tender, and provide moisture and flavor to the meat itself. Overcooking steak is easy to do. Cooking it through and melting out the fat fundamentally ruins the meat. At the same time, undercooked (rare) beef can also be tough, and unpalatable to many. You need to strike a fine balance between cooking it for flavor, and softening the fibers with heat, without driving out all the liquids.

The solution is to cook it as quickly as you can, while spending as little time over direct heat as possible so you don’t force out all the moisture. This is also the reason you must use a good cut of meat for grilling. Tougher cuts are better handled with braising.

To grill a steak on a gas grill, set all your burners to “incinerate” or whatever the highest setting is on yours. For charcoal grills, experience will tell you how much to use, but it should be enough to coat the entire surface with charcoal once the pile has burned down. You should be able to hold your hand over the grill for no more than a second or two. If your grill has a thermometer, it should be at or above 500.

Preheat until it’s as hot as possible. You’ll also need a watch or clock nearby; this method uses time very precisely.

Using tongs (not a fork – you don’t want to poke holes in the meat) lay your steaks on the grill at a 45-degree angle to the bars. Close the lid and wait exactly 2 minutes. Flip the steaks and cook for another 2 minutes, lid down. Then, pull the steaks and stack them onto a plate, and wait for 10 minutes.

Two things are happening while the meat is “resting.” First, the meat fibers which have contracted under the heat, begin to relax again, and reabsorb some of the juices. Second, the residual heat is gently cooking the meat, without melting out all the fat.

When the 10 minutes are up, return the steaks to the grill for another 2 minutes per side, laying them at 45-degree angles opposite however you had them earlier. This produces the diamond-shaped grill marks. If you move them around more than specified, you won’t get these.

Again, remove the steaks to a plate. They should be done! You can check after a few minutes by making an incision with a sharp knife to check the color. You don’t want to do this throughout cooking, only at the end, but don’t worry about defacing the meat – serve it to your guests with the cut side down if you wish. You can also check for doneness by squeezing with your tongs; a medium-rare steak should be firm, but not hard. Assuming you are happy with the doneness, let them rest for a few minutes before serving so the meat can draw the juices back in.

Some people put on a pat of butter to melt over the steak, or freshen the seasoning by sprinkling on more salt or pepper, but I do not.

You’ll find over time what works best for you in terms of time, your grill, and the cuts you usually buy. Heather is a fan of more cooked meat, so I may leave hers on the grill for an extra minute or two when cooking the second side, before pulling onto a place. I may add more time all around when grilling in the winter. The key is to try to follow a strict time regimen so that you’re able to adjust it precisely to learn from it.

Serving

The classic baked potato and side of green vegetables cannot be beat. We will sometimes do grilled potatoes: cut potatoes into halves lengthwise, coat with oil, season with salt, pepper, and rosemary, and leave these on the top rack of your grill for the duration. They will form a wonderful, flavorful crust. We also may serve white rice. The rice is molded in a cup or other container, turned out onto the plate, and a genuine aged soy sauce is then drizzled over it. Of course, a robust red wine is the perfect complement! I like a good, oaky Pinot or Tempranillo.

Do not put sauce on the steak. All that will do is drown the grilling flavors, seasoning, and delicate flavors of the meat itself. If you wanted someone to slather sauce all over your creation, you would have done BBQ, or just grilled a hamburger for them. Horseradish or mustard (English mustard, not the bright yellow stuff), crumbled bleu cheese, or sautéed peppers, onions, or mushrooms are all appropriate toppings.

That’s it! There’s nothing to do but enjoy, and review your process to see how you might improve it next time.

Now, you may still find that it’s not quite exactly like that perfect steak you had once at an uber-expensive steakhouse, which formed the experience you hold in your head as the Platonic form of what a steak should be. That’s to be expected. They have access to better tools, and higher grades of meat than you can buy in the grocery store. Additionally, they sometimes age their beef, or purchase it aged. The meat is hung, dry and unwrapped, under carefully controlled conditions for 10 days or longer. This causes the meat to intensify in flavor, and the natural enzymes within the meat help break it down and tenderize it. Don’t try this at home – there are recipes floating around the internet, but if you mess it up, you could make yourself very sick. However, if you buy an entire side of beef from a butcher, they may hang the carcass for you. It’s said that a side of beef will last a family of 4 for a year. I haven’t done this, but as soon as my boys get a little bigger (along with their appetites) I will try it…and you’ll learn about the experience here!

A Simple Hero Story

2007-11-30T09:50:00.000-08:00

This story has been all over the web by now, but if you haven't read about it already, give it a click (it's short).

Some days, I wonder if there are decent people like this in the world any more...guess there are still a few! A shame about the woman, but it could have been much worse.

http://sfist.com/2007/11/28/truck_man_saves_1.php

Making Homemade Flour Tortillas

2007-11-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

Tortillas! If you decided to read this post, you probably enjoy them too, and the myriad tasty creations made with them. But before we jump straight into bed with the subject, let's "romance" it for a bit first:

Tortillas (or close relatives) are a staple in some parts of Central and South America, and very familiar to us in the US. Although the corn tortilla is sometimes considered the "authentic" tortilla, and is more common, the wheat flour tortilla is native to northern regions of Mexico. I will give you a recipe for a wheat flour tortilla here.

Here's some tortilla history and facts, which I bring to you from the Tortilla Industry Association's website, and the June 2000 industry newsletter from Casa Herrera (food machinery manufacturer):

According to Mayan legend, tortillas were invented by a peasant for his hungry king in ancient times. The first tortillas, which date approximately 10,000 years before Christ, were made of native corn with dried kernel.

For centuries, the tortilla has been the food staple of the cultures of Mexico, and Central and South America. In those areas, corn is a principal crop which women would grind into a coarse meal by rubbing the kernels with a grinding stone, a metate. The corn tortilla was a practical one-handed meal for hard-working people who spent most of their days in the fields.

By the time the Spanish arrived in 1519, the Aztec and Latino peoples were producing corn tortillas in all shapes and sizes for everyday nourishment. Beginning in the 1700's, native populations moved northward and drove the Spanish invaders from Sonora State and what is now Texas, Arizona, and California. They brought the tortilla with them into an area which was short on corn but long on wheat flour and so the flour tortilla was born. This variation proved to be ideal as a leakproof wrapper due to an elastic ingredient, gluten, which allows flour tortillas to stretch and create even bigger food carriers. One expert referred to this tortilla as a "suitcase".

In succeeding years the tortilla became appreciated by local populations and western cowboys. Burritos ('little donkeys') appeared and followed the famous 1849 Gold Rush into California, becoming a widespread portable food of choice.

Fast-forward to the 21st century: in the year 2000, Americans consumed approximately 85 billion tortillas, not including tortilla chips. Tortillas are the fastest-growing segment of the baking industry, and now outsell all other ethnic and specialty breads in the US including bagels, croissants, english muffins, and pita bread.

According to a 2002 poll, conducted by Aspex Research for the TIA, the tortilla's popularity has reached record heights, cornering 32 percent of the sales for the U.S. Bread Industry, and trail white bread sales by only two percent - making them the second most popular bread type in America with sales that far surpass those of whole wheat bread, bagels and rolls. Over the past two years, annual growth for the tortilla industry has expanded nine percent, with 2002, U.S. tortilla industry sales reaching $5.2 billion.

Wow! Looks like they won't miss my $1.79 per package if I make my own...

Tortillas provide not only a fun and easy way to eat other foods, they are an excellent means of providing a carbohydrate "filler" to a meal, to extend the more expensive meats and vegetables and stretch a family's grocery dollars. You can read my complete thoughts on that subject here in the post Everyman's Thoughts on Stretching the Grocery Budget.

As an example for a family of four, rather than pulling 4 steaks from the freezer for dinner, you can make fajitas for the same family with only one or two steaks or even leftover meat, and some vegetables and other toppings. It's less expensive, and probably better for you.

Tortillas are not difficult or time-consuming to make - quite the opposite! A food made by moms for centuries can't be difficult to prepare. But still, you may ask why you would want to make them at all when you can get packaged tortillas from the store for a low cost and zero effort. A few reasons:

They're fun to make, and the kids can help! Not only will they enjoy the process, but are more likely to eat something they had a hand in making
It's much less expensive
You don't need to have planned ahead and purchased them - they can be easily created when you find yourself with something on-hand to put in a wrap
It's healthier, in that there are no preservatives or other unidentifiable substances listed in the ingredients on tortilla packages. You could also experiment with substituting some whole wheat flour, flax seed, or things like pureed spinach or sun-dried tomatoes to mirror the "gourmet" flavors seen in stores
The same reason you might make your own pasta or bread, rather than eating white Wonder bread and store-brand pasta: it tastes better!

We usually serve fresh tortillas with standard Tex-Mex fare: meat, onions and peppers (cooked or raw), fresh tomato, lettuce, beans (black or refried), cheese, sometims rice, and various condiments like salsa, taco sauce, sour cream, hot sauce, or jalepenos. You can make large tortillas for burritos, mid-size ones for fajitas, or small ones for soft tacos.

"Wraps" in general are gaining in popularity over sandwiches for the low-carb dieting crowd, because they can have fewer carbs per serving than slices of bread. The possibilities for wraps are limited only by your imagination and sense of gustatory adventure. One I would like to try soon is a chicken ranch wrap: picture grilled chicken, fresh lettuce and tomatos, green onions, and a drizzle of ranch dressing in a fresh tortilla!

And finally, the recipe!

Dear reader, your boundless patience has been tested enough, let's move on to how to make these:

Here's the list of ingredients:

3 cups unsifted all-purpose flour
Salt to taste (a 1/4 t.)
1/3 c. vegetable shortening or oil. Yes, Crisco is back in your kitchen! It's the ubiquitous blue tub we grew up with in our mother's cupboard, but have since eschewed for oils like olive and canola for health reasons. You could use ordinary vegetable oil if you wish. Hey, at least you're not using lard, which is the traditional ingredient.
1 c. warm water
Optional: 1/4 t. baking powder. The recipe I started with used this, and I continue to, though other recipies omit this

And here's the instructions:

Cut the shortening into the dry goods with a pastry knife or fork. You should wind up with a "crumbly" mixture
Add the water slowly, stirring frequently, until you get a thick, slightly tacky dough. Experience will help more than measurements here, as the flour will take different amounts of water with varying levels of humidity. You want something that looks like...well...dough.
Knead for about 5 minutes, or until you get bored and tired of kneading. Get a mild upper-body workout while you prepare dinner!
Let the dough rest so it forms "gluten," the substance which makes it stay together and gives it elasticity. If you cooked it without kneading and resting, you'd probably get something like a flat biscuit. Recipies online vary from 15 minutes to 2 hours. Don't bother with watching the clock - just set the dough aside and prepare whatever you intend to fill them with, that will probably be sufficient time
Once the contents are nearly ready, put a cast-iron skillet onto medium heat, dry (no oil). If you don't have cast-iron, you can use a heavy-bottom skillet for now, and go get one later. It's an excellent investment. I have several, my first I've owned for over 10 years, and it keeps getting better with each use. There's also some cooking techniques that simply can't be done right with other skillet materials, like blackening.
Tear off a small ball of dough, pat into a circle, and on a floured surface, roll out your tortilla to whatever size you like. You do not need a cold surface like for pie dough; I use my plain laminate countertop. Roll it as thin as you possibly can! Taran (7 y/o son) is not tall or strong enough yet to do this, but will be soon. For now, I roll, and he cooks. Don't obsess over making a perfect circle; the ones you buy packaged are made with machines. It's homemade, and should look that way. If you make these often enough, you can buy a tortilla press to churn out tortillas more quickly and uniformly, though I've never used one (maybe Santa will bring me one)
Place tortilla on warm, dry skillet, and flip when halfway done. I'm not exactly sure how long this is, maybe 30 seconds per side. Again, experience will help. The dough will form bubbles from the heat. Using the tip your tongs, press any parts that curl or don't make good contact with the heat onto the skillet. At first, you'll lift up the edges to peek and check for doneness, but once you get the temperature set, you'll be able to tell from looking at the top of the tortilla whether or not it's done by the bubble formation. When flipped, the tops of the bubbles should have a brown (or even black) color from being cooked, but the tortilla should remain soft and pliable without being doughy.

You'll eventually develop a rhythm. I roll out the first tortilla and place it in the skillet. Taran monitors its progress, flips it, and then places it on a plate when it's done. By that time, I've rolled out the next one and it's ready to be cooked. And so on. That process keeps things moving along quickly. I think we can roll and cook a dozen in about 15 minutes or so.

I don't separate the tortillas in the stack, though some recipies call for sheets of waxed paper between each one. I've never had a problem with sticking. You could also use a traditional Indian technique for making the similar chapati, and brush the tops with ghee (clarified butter). They don't last long enough at the table to get cold, so I don't bother keeping them in a closed container, though I suppose you could if they were ready before the rest of the meal.

If you enjoy making these for "Mexican night" with your family, try making chapati the next time you have "Indian night". The ingredients are chapati flour (finely ground whole wheat durum flour), water, and sometimes salt or a little oil. Use roughly 1/3c. water for each cup of chapati flour. You'll find proportions on the flour package, and you'll find the flour itself in the ethnic section of a large grocery store, or if you have one nearby, an Indian foods store. They are then rolled out and cooked as for tortillas. You can also finish cooking them for a few seconds over direct flame, which makes them puff up like a balloon and become phulka instead, though I've never done it.
Rather than rolling or folding them around a portion of the meal as you would tortillas, you tear off a small bit of the bread and use it pick up or "scoop" a mouthful of food from your plate at a time. Yes, the kids have permission to eat with their hands for an evening!
The texture is a bit tougher and more chewey, a result of using whole-wheat flour and little or no oil. I understand you can make them softer by substituting milk or yogurt for the water. They're very filling.

Here's a picture of the proud tortilla chef, and his creations:

Everyman's Thoughts on Stretching the Grocery Budget

2007-11-26T08:05:00.000-08:00

During my last two years of college, I lived off-campus. For the first time I was without a meal plan, and not living at home, meaning I would have to buy my own groceries. I worked hard during the summers to earn money for college, and held down a job in one of the university's cafeterias during the school year, but after paying for college essentials like tuition, rent, textbooks, and beer, there wasn't much left over for food.
My approach was to buy food by the price per pound, rather than per serving as most people do. As you would anticipate, I ate a lot of pasta, rice, and potatoes. I tried to inexpensively add protein, produce, and calories to my diet using things like peanut butter and beans. Despite all this, I lost about 40 pounds over those two years.

I had learned how to survive on very little money, but I hadn't yet formed my theory; that would happen years later. I am now married with a family and home of my own, and able to afford proper meals! This is evidenced by the return of the 40 pounds, along with some extras in case famine should strike again.

When I hit upon my realization, we were having dinner at our house with Heather's parents; we were serving popovers, which inspired her dad to recount a story he had read in a James Herriot novel.
Herriot was a British veterinarian in the early part of the last century, and described in one of his books a dinner he had with a farm hand. The young man started his meal by consuming an entire plate of Yorkshire pudding with gravy.
Yorkshire pudding is a "bread" of sorts; it's made with a batter of flour, milk, egg, and a pinch of salt, and then cooked quickly in a hot oven. Traditionally, it would be made in a roasting pan, absorbing the drippings from a roast cooked for the same meal. The Americanized version is made in custard cups or cupcake pans with ordinary oils, and are called "popovers" because they "pop over" the tops of the containers they're baked in. You can find out more about Yorkshire pudding here.

But back to our story: after the young man had devoured his Yorkshire pudding and gravy, he was served a second plate of the same. After finishing that, his ravenous hunger diminished but not gone, he was served the roasted meat and vegetables and so on to complete his meal. This practice was meant to fill him with inexpensive and energy-rich carbohydrates, so that he could slow down and appreciate (and eat less of) the more expensive vegetables and meat.

This led to:

Everyman's Theory on Stretching the Grocery Budget with Carbohydrates

Ever since there have been moms and families, moms have faced the same daily challenge: how to feed their family on a limited budget. Today, that "budget" is money spent at the grocery store; in the past, that may have meant wisely cultivating and preparing the food that was grown and harvested, or going back even further, food that was foraged or hunted.

Regardless of the time, or even where in the world any given mom is located, the question has always been: how to maximize the amount of food (and therefore, energy) that could be served to the family, in order to ensure the family's health and ability to continue to pursue work, school, or other endeavors necessary for the long-term success of the family.

The solution for moms around the world has always been the same:

More expensive foods (primarily meats) are cooked with vegetables and served with a sauce on a bed of carbohydrates: rice, wheat, corn, or potatoes. The carbohydrates form the bulk of the meal - not the meat.

That sounds simple, but in modern American society, that approach is no longer financially necessary. Sitting down to a slab of grilled steak with some potatoes or salad on the side to accessorize it on the plate is a luxury in many parts of the world. It's also enjoyed by some families in America on a regular basis.
The 4 most widely grown crops in the world are rice, wheat, corn, and potatoes, presumably because they form the basis of most meals around the globe...but that's not always the case here.
We often start our meal planning with the question "What will we have for the meat?" and then ask "What will we serve on the side?" which makes the meat the centerpiece of the meal. We describe our meals as "fried chicken with mashed potatoes" or " grilled pork chops with stuffing" or "blackened fish with rice" which puts the meat first.
We're all familiar with the Beef Association's slogan "Beef: it's what's for dinner" and it sounds perfectly reasonable, not odd at all.

In terms of proportions, the meat has been taking up more and more real-estate on our plates over time. To feed a family for less, make that proportion smaller.

Here's the larger lifehack: if you want to save significantly on grocery bills, start planning meals 2 weeks in advance and plan some meals where meat isn't the focus (or perhaps, even present at all). Some advantages:

This eliminates the conversation: "What are we having tonight? Did you take anything out of the freezer? Me neither. Let's order out, or go out." This can quickly drain the household budget. According to the Bureau of Labor and Statistics, American households in 2003 spent $3,129 a year on food at home, and $2,211 on eating out! I'm not suggesting you not go out for meals, but make it because you wanted to, not because you didn't plan ahead
It reduces the number of trips to the grocery store, and as a result, impulse purchases. It forces you to think through what you need, rather picking up what looks good when you walk by.
Finally, it also allows you to focus meal planning on dishes that use principally rice, pasta, potatoes, or grains, which are far less expensive, and typically more healthful. Again, I'm not suggesting eliminating a traditional roast for Sunday dinner, just not making that the approach to meal planning 7 days a week.

Moms around the world implement "the extending your grocery budget with carbs" principle every day:

Most of the east, south, and southeast of Asia, rice is a staple. According to Wikipedia, rice provides more than one fifth of the total calories consumed by humans worldwide, and is the most consumed cereal grain. China and India are the top producers of rice.

We're all familiar with "Americanized" Chinese cuisine, with most dishes being meat and vegetables served over rice, whether stir-fried or in a sauce. And fried rice - a tasty dish we pay good money for in the states - is actually just day-old rice with bits of meat and vegetable, an egg or two, and some seasoning. It's just a way to use up leftovers! (Note to self: come up with unique but equally clever way to sell the leftovers in my fridge)

Of course, there's wonderful Indian curries - spicy sauced meat served over rice. As an alternative to (or in conjunction with) the rice, Indian meals may be taken with roti (bread). In the north, chapati is a staple; it's a simple whole grain durum wheat flour bread made with water and salt, rolled into flat discs, and cooked on a skillet. It's very similar to the familiar tortilla seen here in the states - more on tortillas at the end of this article

The Italian food we're familiar with here in the states is primarily meats, cheeses, and vegetables cooked in sauce and served on pasta. Pasta is made from flour, water, and eggs, and then boiled; how's that for inexpensive? In northern Italy and nations bordering her to the north, polenta (cooked cornmeal) is the staple, similar to the ubiquitous grits of the American South. Polenta is so popular that southern Italians refer to northerners as "polentoni" (polenta-eaters). It can be interpreted as hinting at an insult, as polenta is associated with poorer families, which means it's a good food to serve to save on groceries here, too!

The Irish are often associated with potatoes (think shepherd's pie: meat and sauce cooked underneath the potatoes), as well as Russians (no, not just for making vodka). Following the dissolution of the Soviet Union, China and India are now the largest producers of potatoes.

It was the Americas that gave the world corn and potatoes. Corn and beans formed the basis of meals of native peoples in what would become the United States

In modern America, suburban moms have followed this same pattern for generations; we grew up up on things like tuna-noodle casserole, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs served with - you guessed it - garlic bread, and even the classic peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. Why? Our moms knew we would eat it without too much complaining, it's relatively nutritious, and very cheap to make - all are expensive meats and cheeses served with sauce on or with forms of carbohydrates. Think back to your childhood favorites, dishes your own mom made for you...see the same pattern?

The principle applies to all meals, even breakfast. Let's say it's a weekend morning, you've got 4 hungry mouths to feed, and only a half-pound of sausage in the fridge to do it with. If you're in the South, you're probably going to make biscuits and sausage gravy (bits of sausage in a cream sauce served over fresh biscuits). In the Northeast where I live, you might form the sausage into small patties, and serve as a side dish to pancakes with real maple syrup (the fake stuff turns an otherwise perfectly good pancake into something not worth the effort of chewing and swallowing).

Before I get any "Atkins" or "South Beach" comments - I realize the low-carb technique works for losing weight, and that weight loss is good for your health. Whether or not that's a healthful practice for a lifetime I'll leave to a different debate. At the least, we know that if we ate "normal" meals and exerted even a portion of the physical labor as the farm hand at the beginning of this article, it wouldn't be an issue (or so writes Everyman, sitting at his desk)

The Tortilla Tangent, From Which We Will Not Return

I've said all I have to say about increasing the number of carb-dominant meals to save money. We are now going on a tangent to one of my favorite carb-based meal extenders: tortillas. Corn flour tortillas are the most common, and sometimes considered the most "authentic", though wheat flour tortillas are native to regions of Mexico where corn did not grow as well. I will cover making homemade wheat tortillas in a separate post

Homemade tortillas are fun to make, cheap, more healthy than store-bought ones, and a great way to extend more expensive ingredients. The next time you find yourself staring at one lonely steak in the freezer, think fajitas! The next time you find leftover chicken in the fridge, make soft chicken tacos! And the next time you get just a little too much produce at the farmer's market, why not make a salad wrap? Wrapping small amounts of meat and vegetables in a soft, warm, fresh tortilla you made yourself suddenly makes the contents a lot more exciting, and go a lot farther than if eaten on their own.

The Epic Tale of the Plugged Toilet and its Replacement

2007-11-20T17:50:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday night, our toilet plugged. As we were getting ready for bed, we heard an unnatural gurgling from the toilet; it was obvious that it was sucking down the waste with a total lack of enthusiasm. Actually, that's too kind; it was barely flushing at all.

We propped up the plunger in the toilet as an obvious warning to Taran (7 y/o son) so he doesn't unwittingly add to the problem the next morning before we can stop him. Heather agreed to plunge it the next day, or let me have a look at it the following night, and off to bed we went.

The next day, Heather calls me at work, saying she's got a crappy subject to discuss (ha ha). Her plunging did not remove the blockage, so she called her dad. He came over to have a look, and neither plunging nor the auger/snake did any good. Next, they removed the toilet from the floor, and tried the same from underneath - still no luck. There was no way to reach up with a hand from either end and retrieve whatever is lodged in there, because of all the bends.

The verdict: we're going to need a new toilet.

Great. Not exactly the kind of cost I had budgeted for this month. In addition, Taran's big birthday party was the next day. My first instinct was to say "Just take a credit card, get to a home center, buy the cheapest one you can, and get something back on there and working again" but I checked myself, and told her to wait so I could do some research...and in retrospect, I'm glad I did.

That night, I lifted the toilet out of the bathtub where it had been laid and carried it down the stairs. Since we would be using the garage for a portion of Taran's party, I couldn't keep it there, so I did the only thing I could think of at that hour - hide it behind the house. I can't imagine what the neighbors thought the next day, seeing a toilet in our back yard...

It's been a week, and the new toilet is finally in place on Thanksgiving day: an American Standard Champion 4. Why is this relevant? I'm going to talk about toilets for a minute (this is going to turn into a bit of a product review) and then I will finish my epic tale of the plugged toilet.

[begin tangent]

So what have I been up to in the last week? Research! That and amusing myself watching Tristan (2 y/o son) repeatedly walk into the bathroom and peer around the corner at where the toilet used to be, to see if it has reappeared yet. Things like portions of the house suddenly vanishing are apparently quite perplexing when you're two.

First, I discovered that not all toilets are created equal. In 1994, the federal government mandated that all new toilets in the US go from using a standard of 3.5 gallons per flush, to just 1.6 gallons. The first toilets that were manufactured under this new law were terrible, in that the reduced amount of water used per flush meant that the toilets had a harder time flushing solid waste; in particular: toilet paper. By some accounts from early-adopters, the first toilets ought to have come with a plunger when sold! In addition to blockages, consumers reported needing a second flush to adequately clear the bowl, thereby negating any water or monetary savings. Some would even drive up to Canada and purchase a toilet there, where there was no such restriction, and smuggle their illegal contraband back into the US to install in their homes. I can just picture the jailhouse conversation of someone who gets caught:
"So, what are you in for?"
"Double homicide. I was also charged with raping a wild boar, but it didn't stick. You?"
"I'm in for smuggling a toilet into the US...and I owe some library fines for overdue books..."

Thanks to American ingenuity, these problems are mostly a thing of the past, given modern toilet engineering. In fact, the new toilet I just installed appears to be more effective at clearing the waste than the toilet it replaced. Rather than filling with water, slowly and dramatically swirling around, and finally exiting the bowl with a half-hearted gurgle as the old one did, the water now forcefully shoots into the bowl with a "glug" and whisks the contents off to locations undisclosed. It's pretty impressive.

Having a toilet upstairs that doesn't get plugged and overflow is particularly important in our home. Not only because we have young boys who will eventually use too much toilet paper at some point, but because of the location of our toilet: directly over the kitchen. A toilet overflow results in very yucky water running down into the kitchen, covering the cabinets, the counter top, the food in the cupboards...not good.

Here, at last, is the lifehack: two primary things to look for in modern toilets (I'm only going to discuss common gravity-fed models, not the pressure-assisted ones):

Minimum 3" fill valve. This is the valve that opens to let the water from the tank into the bowl and flush. The idea is that if you have less water to use in a flush, you need to move more of the water you do have, and at a higher velocity, to do the same amount of work. This seems to be one of the most important improvements in design, and is fairly common.
Glazed trapway, minimum 2". This is the tube the contents of the bowl go down into the sewer. The larger the better, and the glazing makes it smoother

Beyond that, the technologies start being unique to manufacturers - some talk about the jetting of the water on the bowl, better valve mechanisms, etc.

The models we considered were American Standard's "Champion 4", Eljer's "Titan" (ranked #1 in Consumer Reports), and Toto's "Drake", among others. For a comprehensive comparison see this link:
Toilet tests
There are others available online, as well as through Consumer Reports magazine

Generally speaking, the most highly-rated models from the best manufacturers show little differences in consumer testing labs. Naturally, they're also the most expensive, starting at around $200. Other "high performance" models can be had for $100-$200, and would probably work well too. For me, due to the catastrophic nature of an overflow, the extra cost looks cheap compared to further damage to my kitchen ceiling and cabinets. American Standard and Eljer were both available at Lowe's. Toto can only be found at specialty bath retailers, or online. Home Depot had fewer models in stock than Lowes, and charged exorbitant prices for special-order items.

Other considerations:

Bowl height: many models are available in ADA-compliant heights of 16", which is 2-3" taller than a "standard" height. The demand for this feature has been attributed to the ageing boomers, though the younger crowd may appreciate the increased comfort as well. We did get this option; I'll have to make a little step-stool for the boys to stand on.
Bowl dimensions: both the typical round model and pricier elongated models are available. We got the elongated, as we have plenty of room in our upstairs bathroom
Some sort of "pier" or "sanitary bar", which is a raised portion on the back of the bowl for the tank to sit on. This is of particular interest to parents of small boys, who typically have poor "aim". In the event they overshoot the bowl, the raised bar helps prevent liquids from running into the crevice between the bowl and tank, which can be difficult to clean
Premium glazing on the exterior of the porcelain. Different manufacturers use different names, but it's essentially a smoother glaze that is said to inhibit the growth of mold and bacteria, and make cleaning easier. I found some mentions on the web where people felt this made a difference
Once-piece models are stylish and easier to clean, but expensive

As I mentioned, we went with the American Standard Champion 4, which can even flush 18 golf balls or 40' of toilet roll! The demo is available here:
Demonstration

For those of you who haven't replaced a toilet, it is very easy - a functional and aesthetic upgrade that can be made in just a couple hours. Search online for detailed instructions.

[end tangent]

So where were we? Oh yes: it's Thanksgiving day, and rather than traditional activities like watching football or raking leaves, we installed a new toilet. Installation went okay (two trips to KMart for parts - the only place open), but a few joyful flushes later, we were ready to carry on with our holiday. Tristan seemed reassured to have a toilet back in that corner as well, even though he doesn't use it yet.

Some lifehacks:

Make sure you have all the parts available - even those you think you have, like closet bolts - should be accounted for before you begin
A taller toilet requires a longer supply hose - try it before you have make a second trip to the home stores. Also, try to get one with a braided stainless steel jacket if available, which resists bursting. For fellow Rochester residents, try Debbie's Supply in East Rochester

Finally, the new toilet was in. That just left the old toilet sitting in the back yard, still blocked. I couldn't dispose of it without finding out what was causing the blockage, partly out of curiosity, and partly because I wanted to make sure the children hadn't tossed something valuable down there, like Heather's jewelry or something.

And so, sledgehammer in hand, I headed to the back yard to smash open the toilet. On that cold, snowy Thanksgiving day, I vented my wrath on the porcelain throne. Just two swings and the deed was done. It shattered surprisingly easily. Here's what I found:

Yes, that is the world's most expensive pacifier.

My 2 y/o son Tristan is soooo busted...

Holding Birthday Parties for Kids

2007-11-20T13:58:00.000-08:00

For those of you with kids over 5, you know that birthdays get more complicated each year. It starts out fun with the first birthday: lots of pictures with friends and family, the adults socializing, the child the center of attention, and of course, birthday cake everywhere, some of which actually makes it inside the messy little creature.

Over time, things get more involved, especially after they head off to school. They start developing a serious case of the "I wants" weeks before the big day, for toys you never knew existed and would need a second mortgage to afford. They need something to bring in for the other kids in class. The birthday cake needs to be decided upon. And then, of course, there's the parties. And let's be honest: there's a certain level of comparison to whatever you did last year, or for your other kids...and even, what the other parents have done.

Last year (prior to losing our sanity) we held Taran's 6th birthday party at a local bowling alley. The kids had fun bowling, ate pizza, opened presents...and when it was all done, we left the staff there to clean up afterward. This year, we decided to hold it at our house, for 10 children in all. The theme: Dinosaurs!

The day arrived, and our preparations done, our excitement built as the first child arrived: Darwin, the son of schoolteachers. As his mom dropped him off, she looked up the steps at my wife, an expression of deep pity on her face, and said "You are a brave, brave woman...". With that, she turned, and left. I think I saw a smirk on her face. If a teacher thinks this is going to be difficult, what hope does a middle-aged programmer, a housewife, and her parents have? But it was too late now, the kids were on the way.

3 hours later, after the last child left, the parents and grandparents promptly cracked open an adult beverage. In all, it went well. There were some things I learned, too

Thoughts on hosting birthday parties for children:

1. Food. You really can't have too much. The 10 children devoured almost an entire sheet pizza, half a rectangular cake, a third of a carton of ice cream, and 1.5 gallons of apple cider.

2. Food. The kids really can have too much. You really shouldn't let them eat without limits. Apparently, food for 7-year-olds is like beer for a college fraternity brother: given unlimited quantities, they will overindulge. Not realizing this, I feverishly doled out slices of pizza and cold cider, like a casino promoter on a Las Vegas sidewalk hands out flyers, thinking perhaps it would calm them. I started to think this was a bad idea after one girl downed her second pint of cider without pausing to breathe. Her eyes lost focus for a moment, she stared straight ahead into space, her mouth open, with the expressionless face of a child who is about to throw up. You've all seen the look, and know the helpless paniced feeling that inspires. Fortunately, this did not happen. Instead, she collapsed onto the floor. The alarmed adults rushed over, only to find her giggling. Very funny... Shortly thereafter, the birthday boy announced that 3 pieces of pizza, two pieces of cake, and ice cream had given him a tummy ache. Lesson learned.

3. Kids love pinatas, and they're easy to make. Blow up a balloon, and then apply newspaper strips. Heather used a special-purpose glue, but you could use the traditional flour-and-water paste. Let dry between layers. You can make it as thick or thin as you want. The commercial ones are usually too hard, and it takes forever for the kids to break it open. Once assembled, decorate however you like; Heather made it look like a dinosaur egg, though you could probably do a poke-ball or other theme-related item. Hack: make the kids stand behind a line. One boy - jockeying for pole position to get the candy - got a little too close, and was promptly whacked in the face by the blindfolded boy with the stick. Like the food, you'd think I would have seen that coming: blindfolded boy wildly swinging a stick in fierce pursuit of candy = armed and dangerous...desperate, with nothing to lose. We gave the victim some ice, and the show went on; he wasn't too hurt to sit out the mad scramble for candy. His eye didn't swell up, and his parents didn't sue us, so I guess we're okay (note to self: check into general liability insurance before the next party).

4. Games and activities. Lots of them. Have some to spare so the fun won't run out before the parents return and rescue you from their children. One fun one was "pass the parcel". To do this, wrap a present in many layers of wrapping paper. Have the kids sit in a circle, and put on some lively music. Have the kids pass the parcel around, and then suddenly pause the music. Whoever has the parcel gets to take off one layer of paper. Restart the music, and repeat until a child reaches the present. This was a big hit.

5. Grownup assistants. Recruit them more vigorously than an Armed Services rep at a high school career fair pursues teenage boys. We had 4 total (though one was usually watching the 2-year-old toddler) and could have used one more.

In all, it was really a lot of fun, less expensive than a professionally hosted birthday party , and probably more fun for the kids too.

These are my thoughts on the subject - post yours in the comments!